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Health & Fitness

Man Steals Bread Truck and Then Makes Random Deliveries

Man Steals Bread Truck and Then Makes Random Deliveries:  Police say a man, dressed only in his underwear, stole a New York City bread truck while the driver was making a delivery and then began delivering all $8000 worth of savory baked goods to random businesses.  Police say that much of that bread was tragically delivered to people who were trying to live their lives gluten-free.  Neighbors say they’re not surprised and describe the man as a crusty old loafer.  Meanwhile, the bakery complained this robbery cost them a lot of dough.

Harvey Milk Gets Postage Stamp:  As a birthday gift to slain San Francisco Supervisor Harvey Milk on what would have been his 84th birthday, the White House unveiled a postage stamp in his honor.  Postal officials say the Milk stamps pose no threat to anyone lactose intolerant.

Burger King Changes Slogan:  Burger King is scrapping its 40-year-old "Have It Your Way" slogan in favor of a new slogan "Be Your Way.”  Be Your Way?  What the hell is that supposed to mean?  You may as well just make the slogan “whatever!”  I guess its time to stop looking to Burger King for philosophical truths in my life.  Or, perhaps they should consider this slogan “we pay decent wages!”

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N.J. Police Officer Suspended for Masturbating Inside Starbucks:  A New Jersey police Lt. has been removed from duty after he was accused of masturbating inside of a Starbucks while he was off the clock.  Sounds like this guy was not only off the clock, but also off his rocker.

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Bacon Festival Attendees Lodge Complaints with Maryland Attorney General:  Some bacon fans are getting the authorities involved after they allegedly paid up to $125 for an all-you-can-eat Bacon Music festival and only received just a few strips.  Bacon Festival organizers say the the only reason anyone ever complained was because someone was “egging” them on.

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Woman Facing Charges After Stashing Bag of Weed in Vagina:  A Florida woman has been hit with a pot possession charge after she admitted to having marijuana stashed in her vagina while she was being booked at the Palm Beach County Jail on an outstanding warrant.  Police described the woman as being smoking hot!

Tennessee Brings Back the Electric Chair:  Tennessee Gov. Bill Haslam has just signed a bill approving the use of the electric chair for execution when drugs for lethal injection are unavailable.  And now they’re gonna party like its 1939!  Surprised by strong reaction, Gov. Haslam says he doesn't see why anyone would be shocked by this.

Library Worker Sentenced for Stealing Overdue Fines:  New York library worker Margo Reed, who admitted stealing more than $160,000 in overdue book fines, has been sentenced to six months in jail.  On a positive note, at least now she’ll have plenty of time to catch up on her reading.

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