An Eskimo—Not Cowgirl—at Swallows Festivities

On any given day, I can be found in my typical mom outfit of casual wear: jeans and TOMS slipons.

But on Hoosegow Day—a favorite “holiday” in San Juan—several people, friends and strangers alike, told me I was committing a sin against all things Hoosegow,  because I was not wearing (nor even an owner of) boots, real, kickin’-John-Wayne-kind of boots.

In the past, I’ve gotten away with simply wearing a bandana and jeans to qualify my “Western” wear so I won't get thrown in the hoosegow and hanged.

But this year, when I walked into the on Hoosegow day,  a good-looking gal in a sturdy hat and matching boots marched up to me. She looked me up and down and said, “What do you have going on … here?” while waving her hands from my skirt to my braids.

I looked down at my sad frock: A hippie-western-wear skirt, standard jean jacket with a bandana, braids and … rain boots (well, it was pouring rain that morning!).

Then at the Swallows' Day Parade the next day, no one batted an eye at the or the dancers in vibrantly colored dresses twirling their hems, nor was there mention of the extra large, that walked down the street. No. People commented that I wasn't wearing cowboy boots.

When someone told me “you look like … an Eskimo," it was the final straw. It was time for me to do my homework.

I learned that there are two styles of cowboy boots, western (classic) and roper. The classic is the larger of the two and usually has a tall boot shaft, an angled heel and are usually designed with a pointed toe. The roper style boot has a short boot shaft, with rounded toes, and a low heel, usually less than one inch high.

My stepdad Jaime Chacon, a New Mexican “cowboy” who lives in Laguna Niguel, told me that fit matters more than size. He said that no boot is made the same, so be wary of purchasing without trying the kickers on first. It isn’t unusual to have a boot fit one-half a size larger than normal to alleviate a pinch at the front of the boot (Great, I’m a size 10 already. Like I need to highlight a larger foot).

As I talk to my stepdad, I wondered if TOMS makes a pair of boots. From the looks of the TOMS photos, which I later looked up online, I determined that instead of being mistaken for an Eskimo, I might be recognized as a mummy instead—not any better.

I am flattered that friends and strangers . And in their effort to help me fit in, have saved me from further ridicule at the next Swallows' Day celebration.