Planning Early for Funeral Arrangements Can Save Money, Family Stress

“We have to face this and look at it in a realistic snapshot. We don’t want to say: This will never happen to me,” Neil O'Connor said of death on Thursday at the .

The owner and operator of Laguna Hills-based O'Connor Mortuary was urging the seniors and middle-aged attendees to plan ahead for their deaths, saving their survivors money and sparing their families from having to assume what type of funeral arrangements they might have wanted.

It's not new advice, but it is an important reminder.

Typically, "advance planning" refers to terminally or chronically ill patients who, with help from their health care providers and family members, make decisions about their future health care, should they become unable to participate in their own medical treatment decisions.

In March 23, 2010, the British Medical Journal published a study that found this type of advance care planning reduces stress, anxiety and depression in the surviving relatives. Although O'Connor was talking Thursday about a different type of advance planning—those pertaining to funeral arrangements—he suggested the benefits are the same.

"The worst thing you could [do is] walk out of here and do nothing and leave this to your family," he said.  "Most people don’t [plan ahead], because they they think it’s complicated, but it’s just having the courage to do it."

He assured them that advance planning is a simple process at nearly any mortuary: information will be collected to prepare a death certificate, funeral services will be designed, pricing and payment options will be figured out and authorizations that will bring a body into the mortuary's care will need to be signed.

Once those decisions are made and paid for, a mortuary is mandated by law to carry out those plans, he said. So a granddaughter who wants to fulfill only three-quarters of her grandmother's plans has no authority to change them.

"When you prepay, it can never be changed unless you want it to," O'Connor said." We have to honor your wishes."

Plus, the costs are frozen to today's estimations, meaning they'll never increase to reflect prices at the time the death actually happens, he added.

The mortuary you pick to carry out your arrangements should be carefully selected, O'Connor suggested. The best way to find one is by referral: ask friends, pastors and family friends, he said. Never select one randomly from the yellow pages.

When you do find a few that you think might be a good fit, visit them in person to ask "Who are you, how can you serve me and what sets you apart from others?"

The O'Connor Mortuary is a family-owned business that opened the doors to the O'Connor Laguna Hills Mortuary on Alicia Parkway to Orange County customers in 1976.